Flipping the Script

Now this is a story all about how my life got turned upside down… just kidding, but for real though. I needed a bit of humor in order to write today. Today is 2.22.22. Everyone is really excited about it. I am not into numbers or astrology but these numbers sent me into a bit of a tailspin and I didn’t even realize it until after 8 o’clock.

It’s been 2 years since the pandemic began. It’s been almost 2 years since my father passed. Today as a jury found the murderers of Ahmaud Arbery guilty of a hate crime I am reminded that it’s been 2 years of in your face Black death. The 2nd month of the year is Black History Month and this year’s Black History month has been riddled with at least 20 bomb threats aimed at HBCUs. It’s been a lot!

I realized today that my life, our lives will never be the same. The trauma of living through a pandemic that has caused so much loss is hard to even process. I was born and raised in the South so I am very well aware of racism and the level of hate that comes with it, but watching the number of unarmed, sleeping, innocent, jogging, shopping African Americans get killed has scarred me so deeply that I am not sure how to begin to heal. While social media has been our primary source (outside of Zoom) of staying connected with friends and family, it has also been an emotional rollercoaster. Posts usually go, “happy birthday, happy birthday, congratulations, thinking of you, you look amazing, I am so sorry for your loss, congratulations, sending you my prayers”. It’s a very concentrated way to take in emotional highs and lows within minutes.

Last year in an effort to stay sane I decided to follow God’s lead and live. I traveled, treated myself to new forms of self-care, began a work out regimen, learned so much about myself, but then I plateaued. I still workout. I have therapy weekly. I just lost my mojo for the adventure that I was blessed to experience in 2021.

Today I am turning 2.22.22 around, 2.22.22 is now the beginning of the next phase of my journey. I’ll be 50 in May! Shout out to May! Shout out to 72! (see all 2s aren’t bad) I am determined to get back on track. I have figured out some of the things that will assist me, and one is decreasing the number of blog posts that I produce. It is important to continue on the journey of using my story to help others, but it is equally as important to adjust in order to maintain my mental wellness. I will also start a picture diary from now until my birthday. I hope to go for walks, try new restaurants, go on a solo vacation for my birthday, spend time with those who breathe life into me, meet new people as they travel the road to mental wellness, complete a 26 week class on discipleship, and figure out what’s next for Worth It, LLC.

This post may seem all over the place but I can sum it up for you with a few very intentionally purposeful sentences. LIVE! Troubles will come and go. There is always an opportunity to show love. Taking a chance on yourself is a definite win! Giving yourself a big hug on a day that unexpectedly knocks you off your feet is wisdom. Breaking generational curses takes a lot of time and effort. Getting to a place of wholeness is worth all of the work!

SIdenote: If you read my posts weekly then you’ll stick around to read them twice a month. They’re worth it! You are worth it too!